Revive Program Blog
Often, to heal you need structure and a program to keep you on track
The Revive Program is designed to do exactly that by giving you:
- A focus on Love, Health and Wealth for 2022
- Twice weekly group sessions
- Tools to move what’s unconsciously stopping you from creating a life you love.
- Structure and motivation to move forward
- Implementation and accountability sessions for action
- Modules to get your physical body aligned and mobilized
- Modules to reveal your core beliefs and unconscious wounding that keeps you stuck in unhelpful habits
The Revive Program is the program I created and used during the most difficult period of 3 court cases and divorce.
During this time I needed to transform physical and emotional programming in order to function in the line of fire and not only survive, but thrive.
Below, I share some of the story about why aspects of the Revive Program were essential to my growth and success.
Behind this program, is the metal required to transform old unconscious habits and behaviors that keep you in situations or relationships that will not create love, health, and wealth in your life.
In the midst of the January to March 2021 lockdown, I was also running the last leg of surviving two years of three family court cases running in parallel.
After court finished, there was suddenly space and movement, 9 mind-blowing months of creativity began, which were the conception and gestation of birthing The Ixchel System which is the basis for the Revive and Relief Programs.
Back from January to March 2021 disengaging from a marriage of 23 years was brutal and traumatic, as the saying goes, ‘there is no such thing as a nice divorce’ this one was extraordinary in it’s own unique way.
When you have loved someone for half your life, the relationship breakdown is incredibly hard for anyone impacted by the fallout.
On top of that, what should have been a normal process became fraught due to an unprecedented court situation, which doubled the time everything took to resolve.
Divorce broke down every single layer, spiritual, psychological, historical, soul, whilst every dimension of being human was being pushed to its utter limit.
I felt fragmented, constantly questioning my own motives, continuously feeling guilt, shame, powerlessness and pain. Everyone around me had their own perspective on things. It was a minefield trying to work out how to navigate anything.
I found myself face to face with generations of inherited characteristics and patterns of people pleasing and other disconnected responses.
Genetics, DNA or core belief systems, that had kept me voiceless, or literally unable to take action at exactly the most important times.
I had my children telling me they would never let it happen to them, just like I had said after my own parents’ divorce.
Epigenetics (inherited cellular trauma patterns and memories) was in full swing, I needed to turn the ship around in the middle of the ocean, moving against the tide. I had to find my voice in the family courts and say the word “NO” very loudly.
A situation occurred as if to say, ‘oh no you don’t, not quite yet, you don’t just get to walk away from this marriage, there’s some more work to do here first before you get to move on’.
I had to be prepared to upset people, to stand the wrath of those who did not agree with my actions or those who would prefer me to stay silent. I also had to be prepared to lose any sense of financial security in order to live my truth.
Even writing this now, part of me feels the discomfort of what I can and can not put into writing. The sense that honesty could get me into trouble. The balance between the value of sharing and the essentialness of confidentiality.
In the courts, I needed to remain incredibly composed and professional to get the results I needed, rather than be viewed as a hysterical wife, or over-protective mother.
I got the results I needed, but I do not class these outcomes as successful wins. Due to the subject matter, there were no winners, but in my mind there were correct outcomes and I achieved them.
The gender divide and the role of women and children came out into the spotlight.
It was not lost on me that while women were on the streets mourning for Sarah Everard, I was in court witnessing the patriarchal judicial system in its entirety, and terrified and wondering which way the Judge would rule. Would it be more like entitled misogyny or was there to be compassion and emotional intelligence?
Never had there been a time when I wanted to run away, not have to deal with something, or have the conversations, or open my mouth and take action.
Confronting the reality that whilst in court, I was not just parenting my 16 and 19-year-old. I was parenting them as their 20, 30, 40, and 50-year-old selves.
The results I got would be their example for their entire lifetimes.
I had learned the hard way, how inaction and dissociation of a parent due to trauma, only saved up the drama for another serving later on. I wanted it to stop.
Your nervous system and general health really is taking a battering when you have a barrister being paid thousands of pounds to annihilate your voice, your beliefs, your truth, your passion, and your role as a mother and a woman, you feel as though you have bullets being fired from a machine gun into the flesh of your heart and soul. You have to heal 24 hours a day to keep going. You have to keep getting back up, no matter what comes at you to smash you to the ground again.
It is physical, impacting
Meanwhile, you need to function, cook dinner, work, walk the dog, self-care, and exercise!
You still need to do the paperwork for the hearings, and Court is a job spec in itself.
When you have no money for your own legal representation, so you have to stand up to this force single-handed, with no idea if you stand a chance, with nothing but your truth, love, and protection to keep you on track.
I was blessed and grateful, I had incredible people around me, authorities, and others, who told me to keep going.
I am sure if you are reading this, you are also someone who has heard much about trauma, PTSD, CPTSD, but how do you actually respond when you are relentlessly in the firing zone having to defend yourself? When your autonomic nervous system is literally being shot to pieces, how do you repair it in the moment of fire?
I have always believed, the greatest gift I can give my clients is a secure sense of safety. Even if for a short time, miracles can happen from that place. Also, for them to sense the comfort and identification that I have been there too, I know it, I have survived it. I may not have a qualification in everything but, I have walked the walk, not just talked the talk.
In my body language and my directness, I make it clear, I am going to do my best to help you, whoever you are, to create a safe healing container and program so you can walk the walk, knowing it is possible to heal, armed with the tools you need.
No matter what the journey, or the medicine, we have got this! I can promise you nothing in terms of your expected results because you are unique, but I will share all the expertise I have, to help you get to the best version of you that you can.
I learned through my recent extraordinary experience, that true healing for me was about deep inner action out in the world. It did not take place just sitting in a therapy room, although that was part of it (and walking outdoor therapy still is essential for me)
It was about standing up and being that which I never believed I could be. It was with self-compassion, but also the betrayal of my old codependent behaviors and relationships, trading them in, in order to switch on a light of truth and trust in myself, knowing that I am enough and I can rely on me or those that reflect love and safety.
No matter what I have been told, or absorbed, that made me believe the opposite.
Shifting, also involved taking the time to excavate through my unconscious, to find the concrete and metal-clad energy that had been like a magnet attracting more of the same, unconsciously recreating that which consciously I did not want in my life.
Although much in my life experience had been good, so it was complex, like picking glass splinters out of cotton wool.
All this, when for 25 years, I have been using tools to recover from trauma, only to find another layer of excavation was required for yet deeper stuff, still causing havoc.
Do you ever have that sense of ‘why on earth is this happening to me’? There were moments in the last two or three years when I literally grappled with the depths of darkness that were showing up. Silently wailing into my pillow, in the hope, my children would not be disturbed.
Yet there, sitting within those depths were the lost parts of myself that I had exiled, alienated, and at points, in my past, I had actively chosen to go unconscious to and freeze out.
The only answer was to safely uncover that which had been too painful to feel or process. However, I first had to be strong enough to even embark on this process, which involved preparation, nourishment, fellowship, and sobriety. I had to embark on the Hero’s Journey, as so many of us do at points in our life.
Trying to unpack trauma from a weak and unfit body, is as useless as trying to pack your most precious belongings in a suitcase with big holes in it.
So this is the angle I take when I work with people. We have to get you strong to do the inner work. There’s a system.
So how does it work, when it is your vocation to nurture and support clients to recover from emotional and physical pain? Yet at certain points, you yourself are in crisis?
My experience of this is you wind down, you work with a few, you keep the channel open and you are honest, that you are in the trenches of your own personal struggle right now. You never stop doing and being that which you were born to be.
I finished in the courts on March 15th, 2021. I literally felt like I couldn’t move. As if I was existing in a post-apocalyptic scene. Broken, but alive and lucky to be so. Slowly I breathed, I metaphorically crawled and plodded, I walked and then I awoke for real, and just could not stop creating content night and day!
For all the darkness, for all the pain and despair, now in place was a clear positive void that provided a vacuum for something very precious and light to inhabit.
The opposite to creative block, there weren’t enough hours in the day to get out and release what I needed to produce.
The very processes I had used for my own survival, were coming to life to make them available for others. The design, the words, the videos, the audios, all parts of the very process that brought me from the darkness to the light.
On May 18th I received a piece of paper that for years I had avoided and dreaded as being the darkest terrible thing that could possibly happen to me. It was a certificate of failure of the one thing I had wanted most in the world – my marriage.
So when my Decree Absolute arrived, I was calmly comforted by the lightness of that day, the uneventfulness of my response, and the pure relief and space I felt from being out of a relationship that could not go on.
Rather than being buried in the depths of something that clearly had a sell-by date, I was now playing in the serenity and creativity of love within myself and those around me.
That creativity for me is also a concept of 9 months of gestation where the baby develops, then 9 months out where it begins to breathe and function in the world.
For me, as my daughters become young adults, my new child is The Ixchel System and now the Revive Program will use this system to help you function through all aspects of your health and life, addressing the areas that you want to improve, or that have not been working for you; or the Relief Program will be helping you recover from chronic pain or illness (more on that next month)
What is different here is that you are going to learn to experience and assess your own body, You are also going to begin to excavate energetically, on a quantum level, if you have the willingness and openness to do so.
If much of what you are struggling with is epigenetic, then the Ixchel DNA Relief System as part of the program, you are going to move the unknowable, by giving it a space to safely show up and shift out.
The system I have created will help you to awaken that which as the saying goes, ‘you do not even know, you do not know, so you do not even know you do not know it’.
There were points in the last few years when there was no possible way of knowing how I could ever survive the chaos of turning over my life to something beyond my own will.
Allowing my heart to speak honestly and have to act accordingly, so turning that ship around in the middle of the ocean, and that is when the magic of doing current day and ancestral wounding healing to shift out what no longer serves you creates the unbelievable in your life.
When you add this to realigning your skeleton, with biomechanics analysis, sorting your nutrition with muscle testing and so much more, you will literally be a new version of yourself.
This is what has been coming through, ready to share. Because for years I have struggled with professionals supposedly being able to understand me more than I can understand myself! What is that about?
Absolutely, you need reflection and signposts, but my vision, especially with physical and inherited pain is to give the power to realign and release.
You are going to connect with your skeleton and muscles in 3D and experience the sensation of your anatomy to release tension and immobility from your body, then learn how emotion, movement habits, memories, and pain literally gets stuck in your muscles and joints and goes numb. We are going to show you how to safely align and mobilize yourself, to get your energy flowing so you can release locked-in stiffness to release and move everything safely.
Due to the Pandemic, I had the time to take everything I do one-to-one with clients and put it into The Ixchel System, as well as add so much more knowledge about the polyvagal theory relating to your autonomic nervous system. This is the system that triggers challenges with your digestion, your heart, your hormones and so much more. So we will be using Quantum Theta Healing to regulate your nervous system, as well as connect with aspects that trigger you to go into fight or flight or feel disconnected in any way.
So on January 3rd, the bus is about to leave the station for the 9 Week, Revive 2022 Program journey. We have a wonderful group already, and if you would like a place there are a couple left as we venture into 2022, so you can get in touch immediately to book your seat.
It is a live interactive online program that you can do from your home, with online resources, group sessions, and one-ones if you you need them.
It is going to be extraordinary, I promise……..
To find out more, please DM me.
Also, if anything I have written above, re navigating divorce or family courts has triggered you, then please touch base with me….. it is something I will share more about in the future, however it is something no one should be trying to survive alone!